As a teenager, I’ve always dreamt of having a girl knocking on my bedroom window.
—
I wish the thing with the sewn-up eyes and the long teeth would go away, though.

As a teenager, I’ve always dreamt of having a girl knocking on my bedroom window.
—
I wish the thing with the sewn-up eyes and the long teeth would go away, though.

The builder my wife had hired was fantastic.
—
So, I knew I’d never escape.

I felt her warm breath against the back of my neck.
—
The grizzly had found me.

He had done it; he’d gone back in time and changed history for the better.
—
Then he felt himself beginning to fade.

Shortly after the familiar pitter-patter began, my wife grabbed her umbrella and headed outside for a walk.
—
Five seconds later she started screaming: “BUGS!”

My baby daughter has just started learning to crawl.
—
I wish I knew how to get her down from the ceiling.

“Is this a joke?” I asked, shivering.
—
“She was right here,” said the diener, gesturing towards the bare slab.

After he confessed, they searched day and night for the bodies.
—
It never occurred to the police that they might have moved on their own.

“What’s that noise?” asked my four-year-old daughter.
—
“Just trees in the wind,” I said, whilst blocking her view of the window.

Mom said she was just putting her face on.
—
I walked in without knocking, thinking she was talking about makeup.
