“What’s that noise?” asked my four-year-old daughter.
—
“Just trees in the wind,” I said, whilst blocking her view of the window.

“What’s that noise?” asked my four-year-old daughter.
—
“Just trees in the wind,” I said, whilst blocking her view of the window.

Mom said she was just putting her face on.
—
I walked in without knocking, thinking she was talking about makeup.

I was really upset when Fido barked in my direction.
—
I was even more upset when I realised, he wasn’t barking at me.

“All purchases are final,” said the salesman.
—
I truly understood why he said it cost “an arm and a leg” when I heard the revving of the chainsaw.

“They’re more scared of you than you are of them,” I had mocked.
—
Slowly, I backed into the corner as the spiders kept coming.

I gave him a naughty wink when I saw the plastic sheets and camera.
—
I never saw the axe.

He kissed her smooth skin.
—
Well, technically it was no longer hers.

“I like to bring my work home with me,” he said, with a sheepish smile.
—
I asked him what his profession was, and he responded: “Coroner.”
