“Hang in there,” he said, before leaving.
—
I swung back and forth on the butcher’s meat hook.

“Hang in there,” he said, before leaving.
—
I swung back and forth on the butcher’s meat hook.
“Let’s hope this goes better than the last one.”
—
The anaesthesia pulled me under before I could ask the surgeon what he meant.
“The pen is mightier than the sword!” I told him.
—
I then pushed him into the coliseum, armed with a Biro.
The first time I met her, she stole my heart.
—
And sold it on the black market.
[Language warning]
“She’s gone arse over tit,” he said.
—
The cosmetic surgery had ended horribly.
[Language warning]
“It’s the dog’s bollocks!” she said.
—
As I swallowed my last mouthful of the meatballs.
After the relationship ended, I cried my eyes out.
—
The doctors are still trying to put them back in.
“His bark is worse than his bite,” joked Dad, as he wheezed for breath.
—
The tree tightened its grip around our waists.
“I’m all ears,” I said with a grin.
—
The radiation really messed me up.